hi clint

hey again,
indeed, kid a had a lot to do with me growing to love electronic music. i had never really experienced songs like Kid A or Idioteque, and then i think bjorks album Vespertine really solidified my want to add those kinds of elements into the music i am making.

and, happily, yesterday mike gave me Reason, and i have already begun rediscovering how to use it. the cool thing that i liked the most about reason was the Rewire function, which lets you use reason in conjunction with another program so that you can easily graph out a song and combine live and electronic music very easily. i made a lot of songs that way, and then i stopped. i guess i started to focus on a less linear way of making a song, and now it is time to add the simple cutting and pasting of a section or a beat or a whatever to really complete a song, and realize it more fully than i can with just an acoustic guitar. it will be a fun balancing act.

but also, i am having such trouble figuring out what music needs to say these days. it is the biggest tie-up for me... i can make a song, and realize a nice melody that vocals would work for, but i have no idea what words to put in. i need to figure out what is important in life these days, and what the future holds, and what of the past may be repeated, and what identity, technology and nature will play in all this, and what all of this progress will do to family. its so much stuff to think about. at least, those are the ideas i have been mulling over, somewhat aimlessly.

i had never heard of jab mica och el or nathan michel, but i checked out jab mica and they remind me of the soundtrack for Ravenous. you should see that movie if you havent already. the soundtrack is especially wonderful, and adds a really strange and unique twist to the movie. i found a couple clips of it on youtube, but they didnt really do the soundtrack justice.

it is totally time for me to go to sleep now. but before i forget, while i was at work i used "high-falootin'" in a sentence. it was awesome.

-dave

********

same old road, same questions, same hang-ups. next will be a productive post. the goal: match a emotion/thought/question/motive/style with el musico.

myspace will be updated soon... by next post for sure. thats goal #2. el musico is just gibberish to refer to a song by, but by the time ive figured out the thought/question/whatever, i will have audio examples for consumption/digestion/reflection. 5 small meals a day are better than 3 large meals. practice moderation.

the state of reality

identity. nature. technology.
change. evolution. movement.

self conscience vs. judgement
passive lies vs. aggressive lies
subconscious hope vs. death and decay
wisdom vs. knowledge
the state of individual reality vs. delusion
progress vs. family
character vs. self vs. social vs. class

where do we go from here

its always sunny in philadelphia

tired of fun

i remembered your face in the midst of the crowd

being at a party in amherst was unexpected and fun. i dont go out very often, and when i do something like drive two hours to a costume party, it is usually because clayton has something to do with it. i am not tempted to go out drinking with a large group of mostly unfamiliar people, but when clayton is involved things always seem, and end up being, more fun than how i imagined them to be. im quiet, and in large groups i feel like i lose any sense of being able to explain myself properly. i tried talking to new people but my attention would fall short, and then conversation would falter and die. i guess it does not help that i am constantly looking for girls. i like new girls, but i am horrible at talking to them. it is the worst of curses, that i am terrible in large crowds, and that is where most girls like to be. but after a few hours, the party cleared and a small group of people remained, and the night was wonderful. its just those crowds.

for some unexplained reason, my morale for music seemed to have taken a blow while i was in amherst. i guess i wish i had been able to share music with more people, or talk about music, or feel like the people at the party would like what i want to do. mm, thats it. i was on the fringes of the party when it was in full swing, just observing the group and not committing to it, and in that i feel like i was not at all a part of the social reasons that everyone was at the party for. a party full of people like me would not be a "party". i have no need for feeling like a large, solid group of like-minded young people having fun. im not certain if it is the drinking, the strange pressure and trials of trying to make meaningful conversation in a crowded and loud place, or the overall goals and dreams of people my age, but i really do not care to have a blurry recollection of interactions that, for the most part, are heavily influenced by alcohol. maybe these hazy people i met have great things planned. but all i remember is that some guy said something weird, a drunk guy spilled water all over the floor, some kid threw up... etc.

once everything died down though, the night was nice. the evening really started once the crowd was gone. too bad all the girls also left with that crowd.. hmph. i wanted to get thoughts out for a song about last night. ill have to think some more.

watercourse cont.

nothing at all. lifes meaning, and the pursuit of life that my peers have gone their separate ways on feels alien and surreal. family has always been priority. being home has never felt strange, except when in transitory emotional stages based on the building and burning of bridges. friends have felt strange. new skin cant rewrite history. in that sense, i do like to run into people i havent seen in years, because it feels like change has been constant with me, and is finally pushing me towards something solid.

i should reread Kingdom of Fear. i should go for a run tomorrow. i should practice drums, guitar, and singing for that song of mine. i should clean up my room. i should play with bella outside. i should call jason. i should play my guitar again. i should contemplate Watercourse lyrics.

watercourse.. i like the idea of the first definition, that it is a bed of a stream that only flows seasonally. that is something. i think it is about frozen parts of a flowing substance that only move when the weather is right. hmm.

Watercourse

-the bed of a stream that flows only seasonally;
-a natural body of running water that flows on or under the earth.